When to Be Quiet
Silence is not apathy.
This morning during meditation, I had an intrusive memory:
Years ago—I mean decades—smokers moved into the first/second floor duplex of my building. Shortly after they moved in, the halls began to stink of cigarettes, and one day in the first week, I was standing in the hall of the first floor, and the woman of the house opened her door and began waving the smoke out into the hall. I erupted: “Please close your door; you’re spreading the smoke.” Yet she stood there, door open, mouth open, looking at me amazed. By the time she finally closed her door, the entire building, up to the fifth floor where I live, was filled with cigarette smoke. To her, she was simply airing out her apartment. To me, she was spreading toxins to all of her neighbors.
The drama is long over—the family moved away a few years ago—but here was this scene, along with my anger, intruding into my morning meditation.
Why?
I didn’t even have to ask: instantly I knew it was a message to me.
If I’m angry in a way that just wants venting, shut up.
If I want to complain publicly in a way that does nothing to improve the situation or even spread valuable information, shut up.
If whatever I’m feeling might be toxic to others, shut up.
My silence is not apathy.
Sometimes caring means shutting up. It doesn’t mean I’m not an “activist”—a word redefined by Peter Coyote (see How We Got Here) as fringe-inducing, and more accurate would be to say I’m still engaged with what’s going on, rather than being a hypocrite. Sometimes silence can be a temporary political act.
I care. But until I have something worth saying, something that will either improve the situation or make someone laugh, I will be quiet.
Betsy Robinson is an editor, fiction writer, journalist, and playwright (also a former actor). She has written about books for Publishers Weekly, Lithub, Oh Reader, and many other publications. Her novels Cats on a Pole and The Spectators were published by Kano Press in 2024. She writes funny stories about flawed people and examines our herd culture. www.BetsyRobinson-writer.com.
Right On!! Some people think that if you are not screaming about EVERYthing these days - and the wouldn't be hard - they think you don't care .... I ran into that not long ago - so THANK YOU for this affirmation!!!